Everytime I write about Britney Spears, I swear it’s gonna be the last. I’m trying really, really hard guys, I swear. It’s a nasty little habit. I’m good for a few days and then she rears her ugly head. And then I say no. I restrain myself. That lasts about twenty-four hours. And then I cave in.

I swear Britney Spears going into court to say she is a good mother is about as much of a scene as Michael Jackson going in trying to prove he isn’t a little kid toucher. Minus the pajamas. And replace the “Thriller” fans with crazy paparazzi. And instead of the masses praying for innocence for MJ, they are hoping to see Britney fail.

Well, the paparazzi watched Britney’s every move yesterday. From her leaving her house late, showing up to the court parking lot, trying to get out of her SUV, mumbling unintelligently about being scared, getting back in the car, and then going to places people usually go when they are trying to regain custody of their children when a court hearing is going on. Like the church the Reagans were married in. Or to your favorite restaurant in a shopping mall. And then you do it all in your old wedding dress!

Can someone please list the top ten ways someone can look like an ass during a custody hearing even when the other parent showed up to court with a mohawk? I think Britney is working on a top twenty list and we need to narrow it down.

The whole thing leaves me torn in the middle. I honestly do feel sympathy for a woman who can’t even go into a church and pray without cameramen following her. However, you’re asking for it when you go in with some rando paparazzo you picked out to be your new pet (who is married, shady looking, and did I mention a paparazzo?) and in your old wedding dress. You don’t want to be hounded by swarms when it’s time to go to court? You get there at the ass crack of dawn woman. It’s not a sale at Wet Seal where you can just leisurely walk in, pick up some new polyester pieces, and call it a day.

Sympathy? Go to Rosie O’Donnell who just wrote a blog comparing Britney Spears to Princess Diana. My take on that comparison: Likeness – fame, public divorce, dating Muslim men. Nonlikeness – one of them acted like a lady, one of them did charitable work during her time, one managed her problems in private, and one did not go around showing off her vagina to strangers on the street.

Britney Spears is doomed. No one can save her from herself and she continues to surround herself with total strangers and cameramen. While it may appear we all want her to fail, we all would welcome her back with arms wide open if she got her act together. But she won’t. Ok magazine is predicting her to convert to Islam and try to get pregnant with her new boytoy. Other sources say she is contemplating suicide. Dr. Phil wants to put his two cents in. I’ve already put in my dollar’s worth. Here’s seeing how long I can last before writing again about this tragedy.

And in case you were wondering, Britney lost all visitation rights yesterday. Shocking.