You’re The Realest Thing I Know, Hands Down.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
1) Two are not housewives.
2) They have the most annoying accents that I did not know were accents for the first twenty years of my life.
3) Yes, I know their town.
4) I recently met a second cousin of one of the show’s housewives. Since the show has aired, people have sent him facebook messages to ask whether they are related. He responds, “Yes” and that’s it.
5) It’s the only show of all the Housewives where I actually follow the season. Atlanta had my attention for about two episodes and Orange County and New York bored me within five minutes.
6) I do find all of the women have some very redeeming qualities. But all their other qualities make them totally horrific personalities.
7) Since when does seven episodes make a season? I guess the obligatory reunion show makes eight, but c’mon, did Bravo keep production short in the event that the show wasn’t a hit? Everything out of New Jersey, if not admired, is at the very least watched. (Garden State, True Life : I Have a Summer Share, et cetera et cetera et cetera…)
Watch the season finale. There will be a table thrown.
Don’t You Get Around?
So last week my mind was blown for about 7 minutes and 52 seconds while watching Lady Gaga’s new video Paparazzi, one of my favorite songs from her:
In it, she spends a few brief moments on a couch making out with some three people (male? female? gaga look-a-likes? i don’t understand) who look like they stepped out of 1984. A wonderful British newspaper article pointed out these males (!) are actually Swedish (!) brothers (!) who are in a band (!) and are actually a nod (!) to Gaga’s former rock roots.
And then today, while catching up on some earlier episodes of “Daisy of Love” (ie – the show where Oscar De La Hoya’s niece and runner up in season two of Bret Michaels’s “Rock of Love” gets to pick a new boyfriend from a slew of unemployed musicians), I see those guys again, who were actually picked to be on the show.
Which is pretty interesting considering someone once asked me while watching “Daisy of Love” if that was Lady Gaga as the woman at the center. Although I balked at the suggestion, this is too much coincidence for my lil brain to handle at the moment. Especially given Gaga’s comment this week about the Jonas Brothers, famous for being Christian virgins from N.J., requesting a foursome. Although perhaps this all happened because Snake of Eden has some American publicist who f’ed up royally with the “Daisy of Love” idea and had to find a new way to promote them and thought having them all make out and eat Gaga’s shoe on a couch was a good idea. Time will tell.
Not too Sad.
George Clooney and his ladyfriend Sarah Larson have split.
Take it from me, George, when you’re a somebody and you meet a nobody who was once on a reality tv show, it’s a sign not to get involved.
That being sad, those MTV producers still haven’t cast me in their Washington, DC version of The Hills. Call me?!?
As If They Needed To Increase Their Chances of Divorce Any More
Pam Anderson and That-Dude-From-Paris-Hilton’s-Sex-Tape are looking into a reality TV show to document their newlywed lives. When asked about their married lifestyle, Pam commented, “We’re in every night. Having sex.” Well, if there’s one thing we need to see more of these two people doing is having sex.
How many episodes do you think they will get to tape before divorce papers come? Between Pam and Rick’s own track records and the awful history of reality show couples, I’m thinking maybe they can finish taping two episodes after the pilot. Just maybe.
See that look on Pam’s face? That’s the look of true love.
File This One Away With the Rest
The reality television show trend continues…
First, it was Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.
Next, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro split.
Then, Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler called it quits. [They've gotten back together and separated more times than I can count, but bear with me.]
While all these reality television show couples ended in divorce, they all went in front of the cameras while still newlyweds. When Mr. and Mrs. Hulk Hogan let VH1 cameras into their lives, they had been married for two decades. Nevertheless, they were swept into the trend. Linda Bollea filed for divorce against Hulk Hogan this holiday weekend.
And did she tell him beforehand? No. Hulk didn’t find out until a newspaper reporter called him. How sad.
Reality shows are bad for your love life.
Shot Through The Heart
As made clear by numerous posts on such half hour of bliss delights like “The Hills”, I love awful television. Love it. Now, when my dear friend who usually teases me about my guilty pleasures suggested “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”, I mentally balked at the idea.
Two Reasons:
A) I don’t like MySpace whores. For your information, there are two types of MySpace whores. 1) The type that have hundreds or thousands or millions of “friends” they have never met. 2) The type that stage amateur pornography shoots to get the sexiest and most scandalous default photo. Tila Tequila not only qualifies as both of these two types, homegirl made a career out of it.
B) Finding love on an MTV or VH1 reality show is about as easy as finding one’s true love in the line outside MisShapes. You have the most egotistical, self-centered people just dying for attention.
I may have been skeptical with my approach towards the show, but I nonetheless approached it. Nothing to make me feel better about my life choices than to watch how others make poor choices in their lives. Honestly, I was curious. And we all know what curiosity does to the cat.
The premises of the show is that Tila Tequila is a bisexual looking for love. So she first meets sixteen straight guys and narrows it down to eleven that she wants to move into her MTV house so that she can see if any of them is the one for her. Before they move in though, she meets with sixteen lesbians and chooses eleven to also move into her fake house. The catch? The straight men thought she was a straight woman, and the lesbians thought she only liked her girls. Drama ensues. The straight men are either scared of lesbians or treat them like a sex object, “you girls gonna make out now?“. The lesbians basically hate men in general. One of them even said in such an eloquent manner, “It’s kinda messed up, it’s messed up just to introduce these guys. It’s kinda, like, a betrayal, in a sense.”
It is a bit odd to step back and think of how many years of reality television where people are looking for love, and this truly is the first show of its kind. I don’t want to give these people credit by saying they’re breaking down barriers, but the show forces us to think about a lot of the judgments we have about others. And the great minds at MTV decided to make all contestants vying for their shot at love to sleep in the same bed. That’s right. One gigantic bed for eleven straight men and eleven lesbians. It should make for a really interesting time.
If anything, the show is a promise for loads of drama. The premiere ended with a snip-it showing clips from the upcoming season. It was basically a thirty second long concentration of every human emotion. Desire, love, friendship, hatred, jealousy, despair, rejection, violence, sex, and tears all somehow made their way in and will play out for the rest of the season. With all that intensity, maybe it is my kind of show after all.
