Just Plain Nutty.
So the Sex and the City movie premiered in London a few days ago, and, not surprisingly, Sarah Jessica Parker had to dress in something crazy. Although the ginormous thing on her head was a bit distracting, I tried concentrating on how awfully pretty her dress was. Then I noticed the texture at the top of the dress. Then I noticed that textured material was also on the thing on her head. And then I realized what she was going for.
Her hat is an acorn. With a flower. And butterflies.
Needless to say, my hopes aren’t too high about this film.
The Mystery of Females
Despite the fact that I am a lady and enjoy being a member of this gender more than I can express (sorry guys), there are a few things about women that I just don’t understand. These observations only catch my attention in certain situations but I can’t seem to stop wondering about them. And yet, I never find an answer either. Here are two questions that have been puzzling me recently. Any responses are welcome.
1) Why do girls love posting photos of Angelina Jolie on their MySpace page? I don’t get it. Never any other actress but Mrs. Brad Pitt.
Even more puzzling is the fact that these photos are always similar but never the same. If I’m ever procrastinating and just happen to click around to observe strangers, I know there’s a 50% chance I will find a picture of Angelina with dark eye liner, hair pulled back, and some sort of gun involved at the bottom of a girl’s “About Me” Section and a 50% chance I will observe a photo of Miss Jolie with dark eye liner, hair pulled back, and doing some strange movement with her tongue in the girl’s “General” Section. I’m starting to believe MySpace has some secret option about choosing which photo, but, maybe I’m registered as a dude or something, cause I sure as hell don’t have it available on my profile.
2) Why do girls love that god awful cloth bag with paisley design? I don’t get it. I forget what the name of the brand is that makes them, but I think it’s based out of Pennsylvania. That being said, it belongs with all the grandparents that live in PA. Paisley bags are only acceptable if you are retired and need a bag to carry your crochet and/or knitting needles and yarn in. Otherwise, NO. What really boggles my mind is that everytime I see a girl with one of them, I don’t see just one girl with them. I see five girls with them. And they are all in a group together. And they all have matching but not identical colors. Am I missing out on a true group of friends that send each other text messages in the morning “It’s Tuesday aka Paisley bag day! Ashley uses orange with blue. Cameron uses blue with yellow. Jessica gets to use her bag with yellow and orange…” If I am missing out on such a group of females, please, do not pass on the invitation. Thanks.
Update: Turns out the name is Vera Bradley. And they come out of Fort Wayne, Indiana. Sorry Anne, but I don’t appreciate that export. Looking at this website makes me want to hurt someone.
The Ugliest Thing I May Have Ever Seen In My Life
and I’ve seen many ugly things in my life.
There are some things that are so atrocious, I can not believe that they exist. Crocs are one of them. “Oh, but they are so comfortable.” I think it would be comfortable to duct tape pillows to my feet, but it doesn’t mean I do it. Crocs are permissible under only one situation. That is blind, obese grandmothers and only during times when they are gardening. Other than that, not allowed. Ever.
This pastel tie-dye pair can be purchased for $8.99 and $4.60 shipping and handling on ebay. Someone would need to pay me for a lifetime supply of therapy to get me to wear them.
You Know How I Know You’re a Tool
You’re wearing a mock turtleneck.
