it’s not fair, and i think you’re really mean.
Lily Allen, one of my dear favorites, has made it clear, much to my displeasure, that she has no contract for a new album and would like to retire asap to make babies. My heart is broken as one of my favorite singers would rather be a breeder. Although I can put my own selfish demands aside, I think there is something interesting in one of her quotes on the subject.
“People think I’m this super-confident person who’s all for female empowerment but it’s not true. I have every intention of becoming a suburban mum. I want to get married and have children. Being followed by the paparazzi is not a life I want.”
If one has listened to a single song of Allen’s it’s plainly obvious that she is definitely not super-confident (check out “Cheryl Tweedy” about one of my faves in Girls Aloud), but female empowerment? Perhaps I missed the boat and need to read Jezebel more, but isn’t the entire point of feminism is the ability to choose? I’ve always been under the impression that a woman can be a stay-at-home mom and wear pearls and makeup and still be a feminist, so long as they do it out of their own volition. Perhaps I’m jaded from my own childhood (although mom did not wear pearls or makeup), but I don’t think a desire to care for your offspring fulltime is against feminist ideals.
I also have to wonder why more female celebs don’t take this route. Most of us have those baby-making hormones kicking in, and the natural urge to protect offspring (from the dangers of paparazzi, drugs, etc) and since these women make enough money to live comfortably for the rest of their lives, I have to wonder why more of them don’t retire and find a mountain resort. Maybe women do have the career drive more than simple anthropology would suggest. Or perhaps it’s just that the women who succeed in entertainment industries require such a drive to reach that success so they would not normally cease to have that drive after a fetus slides out of the womb.
I just hope Miss Lily puts a studio in her home and keeps me supplied with her witty songs for a long time.
Whoa.
So, I’m going to come clean about some things. When I gave up celebrity gossip for Lent, I did not give up on entertainment news. And the news site with the best entertainmenst section happens to be www.msnbc.com. And, yes, they tend to be just a bit farther left on the spectrum than I, but I nonetheless have particularly enjoyed their entertainment section and continue to.
So, tonight I’m clicking around and I come across an article on what the Obama’s donated for the charity auction at their daughter’s school and how it was not as generous as what the Clinton’s donated when Chelsea attended blah blah. And below it is a story about Levi Johnston, aka Sarah Palin’s daughter’s baby’s daddy. And the newspaper describes Levi’s son as “Sarah Palin’s first acknowledge grandchild”. Um, what? Totally unecessary to throw that one in there, especially since it’s almost a year later. Find something new to hold a grip about. It’s also insanely hypocritical that the very same people who whine about how Sarah Palin remains relevant are the people who keep her relevant. I don’t think the person who actually got to be Vice President (what’s his name – Jim?) probably gets half the amount of news coverage that Palin still does.
BTW, has any one found out where I can get those boots Jill wore during the Inaug? Those things were hot!
smARTy pants
Mark Jamieson, a gallery owner in Australia, when putting together a new show included the work of an amateur artist named Aelita Andre, after photographer Nikka Kalashnikov showed him two of her paintings. A few weeks later after promotion began on this new show, Jamieson learns that this amateur artist is actually the 22 month-old daughter of Kalashnikov.
While the technique is something a two year-old likely could do, how much credit do we give to an artist of that age? Her parents likely have more choice in the color scheme than she does, and there’s no way young Aelita is picking out the names of these paintings either (“Sunflares and Pegasus’ Flight”, you ain’t fooling anyone). And while an extra suspicion is mounted since both of Aelita’s parents are artists, it is all too tempting to jump to the conclusion that this, if not a scam, is about as much of parents living vicariously though their children as those infamous ones in middle America.
Nevertheless, the paintings are good and there are very few publicity stints that I dissaprove of, so I’m a fan. And I’m definitely never going to critize parents who give their kids that much free reign with paint, cause I’m so secretly envious.
Baby Watch 2008
Seems like everyone from Nicole Kidman to the Pregnant Man are giving birth.
Woof.
Two Babies, One Night
Christina Aguilera gave birth to a baby boy named Max Liron Bratman.
And Nicole Richie welcomed a girl named Harlow Winter Kate Madden.
In related news, this blog is unofficially renamed “Baby Watch 2008″
Conspirababy Theory
I am starting to think that someone in L.A. is replacing the water supply with pimp juice. Every single female with connection to the entertainment industry is pregnant. Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett, Lily Allen, Nicole Richie, that girl from “The Office”, Mr. Big’s girlfriend, the list goes on and on.
And then today Jessica Sierra, that girl from “American Idol” who has resurfaced to fame due to cocaine charges and a videotape of her vomiting in a jail, is officially pregnant. Hello? She was just booked for coke charges and she’s currently behind bars and somehow she’s with child? What is going on?
I’m staying away from southern California and only drinking water from Brita for the next few weeks. Keep your eyes out for an announcement from Dolly Parton this upcoming week.
Sick.
Mama Don’t Preach
Some women are dying to make babies and go through years of injections, inseminations, and sometimes adoptions just to feel the joy of motherhood. And just this week, I came across two articles about women choosing to do the exact opposite, sterilization.
Ingrid Newkirk of PETA asked for sterilization in her twenties because she thought it was cruel to bring up children in a harsh world. She also included in her last will and testament orders to make bags and wallets out of her body parts and then barbecue her flesh.
Toni Vernelli, who works for an environmental organization, asked for an abortion and sterilization at age 27. She then received a congratulations card after the procedure by her current husband. According to her, having a child is selfish and will only harm the environment more.
Pro-lifers often make the argument that when a woman has an abortion, she could be killing the child meant to find the cure cancer. And yet, these woman who are out to change the world refuse to bring children into it who could possibly help bring about this change. However, if a woman wants people to make wallets out of her skin, who knows what kind of cruel and unusual punishment she would make a child suffer after spilling milk. Then again, vegans don’t drink milk- problem solved.
About Damn Time
Oh baby baby baby baby.
The two ballooning singers with tight-lipped mouths have finally come honest about the fact that they each are pregnant with their first children.
Both Christina Aguilera and Jennifer Lopez confirmed this week they are expecting to give birth within the next few months. Christina revealed it during a magazine interview, and Jennifer shared her not-so-secretive secret to the audience during the final concert on her tour.
Let’s be honest here. This is about as relevant as these women announcing we live on planet Earth. The shocking announcement here would be for Christina Aguilera to announce that she hadn’t gone into labor four months ago or Jennifer Lopez revealing that her ass had merely decided to grow six inches above and on the other side of her body.
In all serious aspects, it is nice that some things are kept private and personal by those who live so much in the public eye. And very little in the world is as personal as a pregnancy.
All We Really Want Is Girls
When it comes to the entertainment industry, it really is all about the women.
Correction: when it comes to gossiping about the entertainment industry, it is all about the women.
The more pop culture and entertainment sites I come across, the more women I see. Most of these sites are geared towards women and gay men, yet photographs of women is what we see.
On a road trip this weekend, I bought two magazines Ok! on the ride up and Us Weekly for the ride back. For my ride up, the cover stories included “Dannielynn’s Secret World With Diva Dad” (Anna Nicole Smith’s orphaned baby for those of you that are not on a first-name basis with this infant), “Brit Misses Kids’ Birthday Party for Sad ‘Comeback’ “, and “How Shiloh Saved Angie” (Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, once again, if you were not familiar with the other one year-old covergirl). So the entire cover was all about babies, a mother saved by her daughter, a mother off the tracks, and a baby left to live with a former paparazzi dad after the mother died from drug use. Wow.
And, yes, I spent $2.99 at CVS to read this Pulitzer Prize winning material.
I don’t know what is more frightening, that I actually paid money for it or that I immediately became intrigued with this world of Hollywood women and their infant children.
Two days later, I picked up Us Weekly with “Mommy’s Crying – Britney’s Darkest Hour”. I actually laughed out loud in the New Jersey rest stop when I saw this headline accompanied with a large photo of one of Britney’s children pouting. Also on the cover was “Jess Wins Weight War”. Women love reading about other women’s weight struggles. Especially when those women are celebrities. And especially when we get to witness their weight progression through carefully chosen photographs from the past two years placed side by side so we get the full visual effect. And rounding out the cover was “Owen: Inside His Recovery”.
That’s right. A man has to attempt suicide to get on the cover of the magazine.
It’s all over the magazine racks and the internet, we love women. We love reading about them. We want to know about their depression, their babies, their weight loss, their clothing, we want to know e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
Why? Do we feel better about our own life choices when we can see Brtitney Spears’ demise? Do we weep on the inside thinking about poor Dannielynn? Do we get a rise from seeing Miss Simpson’s size go up a few numbers? I don’t know. What I really want to know is why everyday I get some small scrap of news and a picture reminding me of Lindsay Lohan’s existence when the girl has been holed up in Utah for the past two months and has not made a movie worth seeing in the past three years. And can someone please explain to me why I still see photographs of Tara Reid. American Pie came out almost a decade ago.
That’s right. We need to see pictures of the botched liposuction on Tara’s stomach to feel better about ours not being flat. If we make fun of Dina Lohan’s parenting skills, we will think our family isn’t that bad. And as for Spears, we all wanted to have her fame and now we can convince ourselves that we are better off without having been the fantasy of every man in America because look where that got her. And as for the baby photos… well, we do love children.
For whatever reason, we cannot get enough of girls.
Just for kicks, here’s a photo of Nicole Richie swimming in all her pregnant glory. Because that’s newsworthy.
Britney Spear’ed
So let’s recap Britney’s day.
11: 20 AM – Lawyer abandons her in the middle of a huge custody battle.
3:16 PM – Former bodyguard announced as surprise witness who will testify about Britney’s drug use.
7:41 PM – Manager resigns after one month with her.
And lastly – Nationwide reports say she will lose temporary custody of her kids.
I kinda feel sorry for the girl. I mean, when Kelly Clarkson’s old manager leaves you, you know you’re doing something wrong. And when Kevin Federline is seen as a more suitable parent? God help you.
