Real Heroes. On Cable.
Earlier this week, my dear friend Jess and I were discussing how we will survive this never-ending writer’s strike. Just when I thought I would need to rely on reality tv and game shows to get me through the darkest winter yet, there appeared a glimmer of hope. Coming now, over the clouds on white shiny Comedy Central horses, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are here to save the day!
Not quite yet, but they will be on January 7th. That’s when production resumes on their shows without their writers. I’m looking forward to it not simply because it will give me something to watch, but will prove to be an exciting experiment. How much do we actually need these writers? Can we still have good television without them?
(Note: I know Carson Daly has been doing his show without writers. No, I haven’t been watching. Have you? That’s what I thought. Moving on.)
The writers are on strike because they want more and they aren’t getting more because the other side doesn’t think the value of their input is worth the higher asking price. So there’s the deadlock.
Now, if people can go back to their shows and work without their writers and are successful at doing so, then that proves that the writers really aren’t worth their asking price. Yes, I know this isn’t possible for sitcoms, but follow me. I know, we all want to root for the underdog and think everyone deserves a good paycheck, but really, everyone only deserves to be paid what they contribute. And if Stewart and Colbert come back and prove that they don’t need the writers’ contributions to succeed, then this will show that the writers really should not be given the extra they are asking for. However, if “The Daily Show” and “Colbert Report” sink and audiences have only slight chuckles instead of rolling laughter, then this will demonstrate what the writers really are worth.
Basically, these returns will not only keep the public entertained, but it is also a nice trial run in determining value. I am excited for both.
Just as most times when you think you are safe,
You really aren’t. Things get worst.
To see the most disgusting result of all these women getting pregnant, click here.
Remember, I warned you. (Hint : They were supposedly lesbians. That changed.)
And it might not be suitable for the workplace.
Conspirababy Theory
I am starting to think that someone in L.A. is replacing the water supply with pimp juice. Every single female with connection to the entertainment industry is pregnant. Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, Jamie Lynn Spears, Jessica Alba, Cate Blanchett, Lily Allen, Nicole Richie, that girl from “The Office”, Mr. Big’s girlfriend, the list goes on and on.
And then today Jessica Sierra, that girl from “American Idol” who has resurfaced to fame due to cocaine charges and a videotape of her vomiting in a jail, is officially pregnant. Hello? She was just booked for coke charges and she’s currently behind bars and somehow she’s with child? What is going on?
I’m staying away from southern California and only drinking water from Brita for the next few weeks. Keep your eyes out for an announcement from Dolly Parton this upcoming week.
Sick.
The Ugliest Thing I May Have Ever Seen In My Life
and I’ve seen many ugly things in my life.
There are some things that are so atrocious, I can not believe that they exist. Crocs are one of them. “Oh, but they are so comfortable.” I think it would be comfortable to duct tape pillows to my feet, but it doesn’t mean I do it. Crocs are permissible under only one situation. That is blind, obese grandmothers and only during times when they are gardening. Other than that, not allowed. Ever.
This pastel tie-dye pair can be purchased for $8.99 and $4.60 shipping and handling on ebay. Someone would need to pay me for a lifetime supply of therapy to get me to wear them.
Thirsty? Pay up!
The same week as the Boston Tea Party anniversary, some “scientists” are proposing a tax on soda to fight obesity. Obviously, I am outraged.
Honestly, I don’t need a government watching my waist line. I can do that myself, thank you very much. Coming from someone who recently made a Safeway.com order of twelve cases of soda, I would like the government’s greedy hands to keep out of my pop cans. I can hear the sound of our Founding Father rolling in their graves at the thought of taxes to promote health. And by the way, no one in this apartment is anywhere near obesity.
You want to go after fat-causing beverages? Go tax Britney Spears for every venti frappuccino with extra whip cream and heavy syrup she drinks. That’s about twenty-nine every day. This government will have more money than it knows what to do with by the end of the week. And leave the rest of us alone with our beverages.
(New?) Music Time
Dear Ashlee Simpson,
I like you a lot. I like you more than I should, in fact. Why? I’m not really sure. Anyhow, I’ve been looking forward to your new cd ever since it appeared on your website that there would be a new album out in November. That month came and past, and all I have yet been given is this video:
My sweet child, there’s something I need to tell you. If I wanted to listen to Gwen Stefani, I would listen to Gwen Stefani. Now go back to your room.
Over and out,
A
Booted Off My Favorites List
Sorry, Lily Allen but smoking while pregnant isn’t cool.
And they say Americans are trashy! Pish posh!
However, I might give her the benefit of the doubt since this photo is from two weeks ago and she announced her pregnancy yesterday. Unfortunately for her, it was a bit over-shadowed by an announcement from Camp Spears. Lily is pregnant with the spawn of one of the dudes from the Chemical Brothers whom she has been dating for the past three months.
Three months? That’s the length of one trimester! These kids these days!
Like Mother, Like Sisters
Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.
And sixteen.
Although the public garners Britney with negative attention, her younger sister always seemed to appear in the spotlight solely for positive reasons. While starring in a very successful Nickelodeon show, she seemed like the wholesome star parents would want their young teenagers to look up to. And then this bomb exploded.
Granted, a pregnancy is not the worst thing that could happen to a teen girl. She is not the first, nor the last sixteen year old to be impregnated, and this baby will most likely be loved and cared for and not thrown to the side. And ultimately, as long as the baby is cared for and loved and the mother is happy, it really isn’t any of my business.
However, I am going to make one point about this being my business:
Spears reportedly was living with her nineteen year old non-famous boyfriend.
Now, we know Mama Spears is not the perfect mother. She pimped Britney Spears out as the biggest cash cow ever at age sixteen. She let her daughter appear as a baby prostitute nationwide before her eighteenth birthday. She also gave her seal of approval to having Kevin Federline as a son-in-law. She still hasn’t stepped in and tried helping Britney with all of her drug and substance abuse problems, even though they probably all come from her mother making her a sex symbol before being able to buy cigarettes.
And despite seeing firsthand what young fame can do, Mama Spears brought her other daughter in on the game too. And then gave the thumbs up for her sixteen year-old daughter to live with a boyfriend.
Oh, and she has a deal to write a parenting book for Christian publisher Thomas Nelson. Go figure.
Looks like Mama Spears really loves either having crazy daughters or bunches of grandkids.
A Day In The Life Of…
Pam Anderson.
Just as I predicted, Pam filed for divorce this morning.
Not as I predicted, a few hours later she pulled the plug.
And this was even after their reality show plans were cancelled.
Can they make it to the three month mark?
Place your bids now!!!
Hey, Fatty
An article entitled “16 Secrets Restaurants Don’t Want You To Know” sounded pretty interesting. I like food, I like going out to eat, and I don’t like secrets, so I clicked the link and saw the article from Men’s Health magazine. I’m not a man, but whatever. My love of restaurant food did not end, but I did have the most sickening taste in my mouth after reading the first sentence -
“On October 15 of last year, at the very moment a piece of legislation landed on his desk that could have helped protect the state’s 37 million residents from obesity, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of California was apparently out to lunch.”
Ok, the world we are living is not some futuristic war movie where the evil trans fats are coming to kill us all and you need to rely on some 1980s action movie star to save you. Put the burger down and step away from the plastic booth at Burger King. You can do that by yourself. You don’t need this dude’s help -
There’s something called personal accountability and for some reason, we are all beginning to lose it. You don’t want to eat trans fats? Don’t eat them. You don’t have to write to your New York State legislator to make them illegal. Believe it or not, the Governor’s job is not to be your dietitian.
I’m so outraged, I didn’t even bother reading the secrets.
