NewsFlash
A Harvard University study found that sixty percent of Americans believe that media coverage of the 2008 presidential campaign is biased.
Well, I’m glad sixty percent of Americans have common sense. I’m just wondering where the other forty percent gets their news from….
File This One Away With the Rest
The reality television show trend continues…
First, it was Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.
Next, Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro split.
Then, Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler called it quits. [They've gotten back together and separated more times than I can count, but bear with me.]
While all these reality television show couples ended in divorce, they all went in front of the cameras while still newlyweds. When Mr. and Mrs. Hulk Hogan let VH1 cameras into their lives, they had been married for two decades. Nevertheless, they were swept into the trend. Linda Bollea filed for divorce against Hulk Hogan this holiday weekend.
And did she tell him beforehand? No. Hulk didn’t find out until a newspaper reporter called him. How sad.
Reality shows are bad for your love life.
Mama Don’t Preach
Some women are dying to make babies and go through years of injections, inseminations, and sometimes adoptions just to feel the joy of motherhood. And just this week, I came across two articles about women choosing to do the exact opposite, sterilization.
Ingrid Newkirk of PETA asked for sterilization in her twenties because she thought it was cruel to bring up children in a harsh world. She also included in her last will and testament orders to make bags and wallets out of her body parts and then barbecue her flesh.
Toni Vernelli, who works for an environmental organization, asked for an abortion and sterilization at age 27. She then received a congratulations card after the procedure by her current husband. According to her, having a child is selfish and will only harm the environment more.
Pro-lifers often make the argument that when a woman has an abortion, she could be killing the child meant to find the cure cancer. And yet, these woman who are out to change the world refuse to bring children into it who could possibly help bring about this change. However, if a woman wants people to make wallets out of her skin, who knows what kind of cruel and unusual punishment she would make a child suffer after spilling milk. Then again, vegans don’t drink milk- problem solved.
Give Thanks.
Transportation – without the DC2NY bus or NJTransit train lines, I would probably have just made it into Maryland walking. Thanks for getting me to ringwood safely.
Maggie – every home needs a puppy. Or in this case, a twelve year-old dog who still acts like a young pup.
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – Even though the police barricades set up for this parade last night made my ten minute dash to catch my train a tad difficult, I always enjoy setting the tv to CBS to watch a lil parade action. Makes a nice backdrop to whatever board game my sister and I are playing.
Football – Always relaxing to watch on a lazy day. Good to distract my grandfather from telling another story. “This one time, Pete Yubeks and I…” “Grandpa, I know. Watch the game.” This year my dad found an old football in his garage so we may actually get off our butts and throw one around. Exciting!
Turkey – gobble. gobble. gobble. (had to throw that in there, just in case you forgot what sound a turkey makes.) I’m still trying to solve the mystery of how sandwich turkey tastes so much different than the Thanksgiving type of turkey. Let me know.
Pumpkin Pie – Three years ago my father forgot to purchase pumpkin pie. I will never ever let him forget it. Ever.
A Christmas Story – Are you gearing up for this movie being on TV nonstop for the next four and a half weeks? I am.
What Normal Women Look Like
This is unreal. Kim Kardashian came out with this statement about why she posed nude for Playboy. No, it wasn’t for the money. No, it wasn’t so that she could be known for something else than OJ Simpson’s lawyer’s daughter and Paris Hilton’s 346978637th best friend. Kim Kardashian took her clothes off for the camera to be a role model.
“I did it because I’m not one of those stick-skinny girls you see. I felt like girls today need to see a normal body.”
I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up and felt uncomfortable with my body, I would save up $4.95 of my babysitting money, go to 7-11, and buy a copy of Playboy magazine to see what normal women’s bodies looked like. And I always wondered why the Playmate of the Month didn’t have a beachball for a bottom like all the other normal bodies I would see.
So, if you’re feeling insecure about all the little thin girls in magazines, go buy this month’s issue of Playboy to see what a real rear end looks like. Or just go to 7-11 and look at the people hanging out there. That might give you a more realistic view than the two world globes in a velour tracksuit photoed above.
Why I Love Australia
Sometimes I forget Australia exists. But it is an important place. There are a few exports from there I feel like paying homage to. Here’s my top 5 list of Australian exports.
5. Natalie Imbruglia. That “Torn” song was catchy in seventh grade. Even better – her lesser known single “Wishing I Was There.” Not too sure what she’s been up to this past decade, but heck, number 5 doesn’t require much.
4. Crocodile Dundee. Hilarious. Not sure if he’s really Australian. But whatever.
3. Heath Ledger.
What a nice young gentleman. Now, he has made mistakes. Making a baby with that gremlin looking girl from “Dawson’s Creek” was one. “A Knight’s Tale”, although a personal favorite of mine, was probably another. Anywho, seems like an interesting guy and pretty soft on the eyes. Doesn’t hurt.
2. The dynamic duo of Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman.
Apart, these two ladies are pretty dull. Don’t get me wrong, Nicole has made amazing movies and is one of the top actresses of this era. However, snorefest. As for Naomi Watts, we can’t say for sure how well her staying power as a leading lady will be (although, “The Ring” was pure magic!), but she seems like a lovely lady. While these two seem nice, sweet, but a little dull apart, whenever I see a photo of the two of them together I kind of feel giddy inside and just want to have a sleepover with them. Yknow, facials, romantic comedies, and laughing about gay ex’s.
1. Kylie Minogue.
Love love love love love her. I have for years now and probably always will. And she’s been through a lot these past three years, so do yourself a favor and watch this:
Hopefully, you won’t regret it. Because it’s my favorite Australian export of the moment. And if you don’t like it, let me know. It might be time for me to move on to a new favorite pop star. Or Australian export.
Note: I purposefully left the alcoholic anti-semite Mel Gibson off the list. Homeboy has a got to make a few more “Apocalypto”s before he beats out Natalie Imbruglia.
Hey Everyone, Come Meet My New Friend!
Her name is Ali Lohan.
As in, Lindsay Lohan’s little sister.
Yes, I said little.
No, not like a little sister who is only fourteen months younger.
Ali is thirteen.
Now, I might be a bit ashamed of the pictures of myself at middle school age. I was chubby, greasy haired, and had no idea about skin care. But guess what? That’s how thirteen year olds are supposed to look. Not like some slutty girl who was rejected from the Real World cast and is standing outside the 24 hour rite aid asking to bum a smoke.
One Hundred Billion Dollars
Okay, only one hundred million dollars.
Remember those scandalous photos of Oscar De La Hoya wearing fishnets and other drag fashions that surfaced last year? I would include some here, but unfortunately, some legal maneuvering by his team led to their disappearance. Well, they were released by his stripper girlfriend who sold them to a website for $70,000. His legal team “coerced” her into publicly retracting her statement about having these photos and they all disappeared.
Now she is suing him.
Go figure.
For fraud, defamation, and emotional distress.
How can you sue someone for defamation when you tried releasing private, cross-dressing photos of them for personal financial gain?
And her alleged damages? One hundred million dollars.
That can buy a lot of fishnet.
No More Whine For Her, Please!
Wha wha wha.
Avril Lavigne has come back out with another fabulous quote. Oh happy day!
“The Internet is very negative. There’s a lot of websites and stuff, not naming any in particular. But, I don’t know. People are like obsessed with celebrities and they’re obsessed with them failing and doing bad. Personally, I haven’t failed. I haven’t done anything wrong. I feel like I’ve worked really hard and I’ve accomplished a lot. I know a lot of people are like getting DUIs and freaking showing their crotches in paparazzi pictures and going to jail and doing all this crazy stuff and falling. I personally think I’ve kept myself together pretty good. There’s a lot of negativity and I have a record out right now. It’s unfortunate that anytime there’s ever big news, it’s always negative.”
So, just because she hasn’t been arrested or shown us what she looks like underneath her clothes, she is immune from criticism? Sorry, honey. You are a celebrity. If you’re gonna use the press to bring you up, you have to take the punches, not just the praises. You made ridiculously catchy songs with the most atrocious lyrics, so, yes, you have accomplished a lot. Congratulations. I still don’t like you. Or your clothing. Or your pink hair. Oh, and your husband slept with Paris Hilton.
Shot Through The Heart
As made clear by numerous posts on such half hour of bliss delights like “The Hills”, I love awful television. Love it. Now, when my dear friend who usually teases me about my guilty pleasures suggested “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila”, I mentally balked at the idea.
Two Reasons:
A) I don’t like MySpace whores. For your information, there are two types of MySpace whores. 1) The type that have hundreds or thousands or millions of “friends” they have never met. 2) The type that stage amateur pornography shoots to get the sexiest and most scandalous default photo. Tila Tequila not only qualifies as both of these two types, homegirl made a career out of it.
B) Finding love on an MTV or VH1 reality show is about as easy as finding one’s true love in the line outside MisShapes. You have the most egotistical, self-centered people just dying for attention.
I may have been skeptical with my approach towards the show, but I nonetheless approached it. Nothing to make me feel better about my life choices than to watch how others make poor choices in their lives. Honestly, I was curious. And we all know what curiosity does to the cat.
The premises of the show is that Tila Tequila is a bisexual looking for love. So she first meets sixteen straight guys and narrows it down to eleven that she wants to move into her MTV house so that she can see if any of them is the one for her. Before they move in though, she meets with sixteen lesbians and chooses eleven to also move into her fake house. The catch? The straight men thought she was a straight woman, and the lesbians thought she only liked her girls. Drama ensues. The straight men are either scared of lesbians or treat them like a sex object, “you girls gonna make out now?“. The lesbians basically hate men in general. One of them even said in such an eloquent manner, “It’s kinda messed up, it’s messed up just to introduce these guys. It’s kinda, like, a betrayal, in a sense.”
It is a bit odd to step back and think of how many years of reality television where people are looking for love, and this truly is the first show of its kind. I don’t want to give these people credit by saying they’re breaking down barriers, but the show forces us to think about a lot of the judgments we have about others. And the great minds at MTV decided to make all contestants vying for their shot at love to sleep in the same bed. That’s right. One gigantic bed for eleven straight men and eleven lesbians. It should make for a really interesting time.
If anything, the show is a promise for loads of drama. The premiere ended with a snip-it showing clips from the upcoming season. It was basically a thirty second long concentration of every human emotion. Desire, love, friendship, hatred, jealousy, despair, rejection, violence, sex, and tears all somehow made their way in and will play out for the rest of the season. With all that intensity, maybe it is my kind of show after all.
